


since time began

by madseba



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, i was feeling Angsty so, time to scream!!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 14:27:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8581996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madseba/pseuds/madseba
Summary: "I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything. Maybe we're from the same star."--Emery Allen Flashbacks are italicized for easier comprehension (and so that I can keep my head on straight tbh). Anything not italicized is a current thought. Jake's perspective.(Also, I'm horrible at remembering literally anything so the dialogue is a little, well, not canon. Sorry!)





	

 He wasn't exactly sure when it started. He doesn't remember the feeling being this intense, this gut-wrenching, this heart-mangling before. He remembers hints and nudges that pointed to her, as if the entire universe was trying to draw them together like the tightening of shoestrings. He remembers lighthearted banter and wit tossed between each other like a lazy game of catch, but this, this was new. It felt as if his entire heart was trying to claw itself out of his chest just so it could be closer to her. It made sense, he thought, because everything was so much brighter, so much clearer when he was near her. It was as if he was addicted to her nearness. She intoxicated him without even trying. And he loved her, God, he loved her. 

_"You have to promise," he laughed, "promise you won't fall in love with me."_

_She cocked an eyebrow confidently, "Won't be a problem."_

_A half-smile clung to the corner of his mouth. Something pulled at his gut but he couldn't place it. It almost felt like he hoped she was lying. He straightened his back as he offered her his arm._

_Hours later, perched on a city roof, he watched her try to catch nuts in her mouth while she laughed at herself. She's beautiful, he thought, and somehow, she makes that horrific preteen-at-a-bat-mitzvah dress look good. He smirked. Finally, she caught one precariously between two teeth._

_"Mmmm! Jake! I did it!" Her deep brown eyes were wild with excitement and he high-fived her. He remembers wanting to kiss her instead, just a little. She was so uptight and something about watching her unwind was cathartic for him. It was as if it was a relief to know that she relaxed when he was around. He drew the calm out of her like the drag of a cigarette. His eyes sparkled just a little bit as she caught another, and another. He wasn't sure if she was trying to impress him or one-up him, but he knew he didn't want this to be their last date._

He didn't remember feeling anything different once he knew he was in love with her. Except, of course, that he realized he loved her when he couldn't have her. It felt like a punch to the gut so swift and deep it could kill him. He remembers wishing it may be easier that way. He could just shut up and not say anything. What could he offer her that nobody else could? She deserved a thousand times the man he was. He didn't remember where the shift between "I like her and want the best for her" to "my God, I would give her my own heart and soul if it meant she'd be happy" came in. He remembers that, one morning, he woke up, and she was laying next to him and he thought about how he didn't want to wake up to anything but her face for the rest of his life. He would've told her if it wouldn't have woken her up. Instead, he kissed her forehead and got ready for work.

_The tension in the file room could be pierced with a pinprick. She chewed on her bottom lip, trying to focus on anything but him. His entire body was tied in a knot._

_"Lot of change around here, huh?"_

_Before he knew it, her lips found his, and, God he hoped he never knew anything else. He wished that everything he had and could have would always be her. He wanted her in every instance, every time, forever. It felt as if their whole lives had served as preface to this. This felt like the plot point in a movie where everyone heaves a great sigh of relief because the characters are finally safe._

He didn't know for certain when he unconsciously decided that she was everything. Somewhere in the banter, in the casual kisses, the cat-and-mouse dancing around each other for fear of falling too hard, the laughing and crying and Florida, the longing stares and shifted glances, he fell so far in love that nothing and no one could ever draw him back. And he wouldn't have it any other way. Maybe, he suspected, there was no pivotal moment. Maybe there was no black and white, light-in-the-darkness instance where she became his completion. Maybe part of him had loved her since the dawn of time.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to follow me on tumblr (@jokeperatla) for more rambling or freaking out over things.


End file.
